


Something Broken

by Velvet_Crowe



Series: Something Begun [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Character Study, Developing Relationship, Graphic, Hisoka's Response, Illumi's Issues, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 01:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7825282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velvet_Crowe/pseuds/Velvet_Crowe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hisoka accused Illumi of having issues. Because of one of those issues, Hisoka keeps Illumi in the toybox until he thinks Illumi can handle it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Getting to know you

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a sequel to Everything at Once!
> 
> There is a very different tone to this work. Do not expect much plot, as this is designed to be an investigation into Illumi's character and Hisoka's response to it. Assumes Hisoillu elements. 
> 
> There two scenes with explicit rape content. Do not read if you are extremely uncomfortable with this topic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka realizes something about Illumi that changes his perspective.

Illumi stood perfectly still. He knew that was the best response in these situations. He wasn’t here to assassinate and, under these circumstances, he had learned that he was expected to do as ordered and nothing else. So he remained still. 

****

Hisoka’s lips brushed his shoulders. Illumi didn’t react. 

****

The clown ran a sharp nail down his shirt, ripping the fabric, and exposing Illumi’s lean muscular chest. Illumi sighed internally, he didn’t like having to replace his clothes, they were custom and costly. Again though, Illumi did not outwardly react. 

****

Hisoka’s hands found their way into the torn fabric and he gently raked his nails down Illumi’s back. His mouth found the assassin’s throat and he kissed it, running his teeth along the sharp bob of Illumi’s adams apple. 

****

Hisoka turned Illumi around and pushed him against the wall. He tugged Illumi’s pants and undergarments down and guided Illumi’s legs to step out of them. He ran his fingers over Illumi’s ass and squeezed gently. 

****

“You’re so perfect,” the magician whispered in his ear. Illumi had heard it before, so he just let the compliment drift over him. 

****

Hisoka reached down to between his cheeks and ran his finger around the ring of muscle there. 

****

Illumi couldn’t help it. He flinched. He cursed himself for the slight motion and hoped Hisoka hadn’t noticed it. 

****

“Sensitive?” Hisoka purred, and Illumi relaxed. 

****

The magician went back to circling his entrance and Illumi closed his eyes. He knew what came next; he hated that part, but knew that if he resisted it would only hurt more. He had learned that if he stayed relaxed and limp, it hurt less. 

****

Hisoka slipped one finger into him. It didn’t hurt as much as Illumi thought it would. Usually there was a slight stretch and a little sting, but Hisoka’s finger was slick against him. The magician thrust for a short while, and Illumi stood and took it. Hisoka slid a second finger in and began stretching the assassin. 

****

Illumi appreciated the fact that Hisoka was doing this; it hurt much more when he wasn’t prepared. Very few clients cared if he was ready or not. 

****

He flinched a second time when Hisoka’s fingers brushed over a small tear inside. Illumi schooled himself; he was better than that. He should be able to take it without emotion. Unless that was what was expected of him, but Hisoka didn’t seem to be looking for that kind of response yet.

****

Hisoka’s sharp eyes caught the motion; he knew it was unusual for the assassin to react involuntarily to anything. “Are you alright?”

****

Illumi was surprised, but knew how he was supposed to answer. “Yes. It feels good. Please continue.”

****

Hisoka’s fingers returned to stretching him. They brushed again over the small scratch, but Illumi was ready and did not react. Hisoka pushed deeper, and brushed against more nicks and bruises, but Illumi grit his teeth and took the pain. 

****

His hole felt slippery; it was odd. Normally, this was over by now. He didn’t like that it was taking longer than usual. 

****

Hisoka’s fingers slipped out and Illumi heard the magician’s pants hit the floor. He stayed facing the wall, and started counting the texture divots. He felt Hisoka’s head press between his cheeks and he knew this was it. His muscles locked as he waited for HIsoka to press in.

****

The fucking part hurt the worst, as almost all cocks hit the same spots, and Illumi was already sore. He would prefer it if Hisoka would just get it over with already. He was used to Hisoka causing him pain, usually in the form of broken bones or deep scratches or purple bruises, but this would be the first time Hisoka would hurt him from the inside. 

****

Illumi had expected Hisoka to fuck him sooner, really. They had exchanged favors on and off for some time, but Hisoka had never used the arrangement for sexual advantage. Of course Illumi knew Hisoka got off on their fights, so he assumed that the clown was satisfied that way. It was part of the reason Illumi was willing to spar with him so often. 

****

But today had proved different, with the magician lingering after their mission and initiating advances by combing his fingers through Illumi’s long hair. Illumi understood then that Hisoka was going to fuck him this time. 

****

Illumi held tense, waiting for Hisoka to fill him, knowing he was just going to have to get used to being fucked by the clown too. He hated this part, but being fucked was kind of the point of being fucked. 

****

Hisoka didn’t press in. He held his head against Illumi’s hole, and just waited. Illumi started to get impatient. He just wanted this to be over already. His back muscles were still tense as he anticipated the pain he was about to feel. 

****

Hisoka didn’t do it. Instead, he turned Illumi around to face him. 

****

Hisoka stared at him with a look of consternation. Illumi wondered what he had done wrong. Hisoka reached a hand upward and Illumi jerked back anticipating a strike. Usually when clients hit him, he just let them. But Hisoka could actually hurt him if he chose to. 

****

Hisoka’s hand slowed and very, very softly wiped away the single tear on Illumi’s cheek. When did that get there? Illumi didn't know. 

****

Hisoka didn't speak. He bent down and picked up Illumi’s pants and held them for Illumi to step into. Illumi did so without question. Never question. 

****

Hisoka pulled them up, carefully not touching Illumi’s skin. He fastened them around Illumi’s waist, then reached back for his own. 

****

He stood back up and pulled on Illumi’s loose open shirt. Illumi followed, thoroughly lost. If Hisoka wasn't going to fuck him, then he needed to go plan for his next job. 

****

Hisoka led him back out of the room and out to the car that was waiting for them. Hisoka opened the back door, and held it for Illumi. Illumi got in and prepared to slide over but the door closed before he could. 

****

Hisoka gently rapped on the window. Illumi rolled it down. 

****

Hisoka was looking behind the car. 

****

“How many times have you been raped?”

****

Illumi started, surprised by the question. Again, he knew the correct response to this. 

****

“I have never been raped.”

****

Clients preferred that answer.

****

Hisoka frowned and looked down at him. Illumi met his eyes without blinking and waited. When the magician made no further comments, Illumi figured that Hisoka was done with him, so he rolled the window back up and signalled for the driver to leave. 

****

Illumi didn't look back, but he felt Hisoka’s presence disappear. He settled in to plan his next mission. 

 


	2. Doing the job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi's jobs are more involved than just killing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dubious consent/rape! Please beware!

“Someone has been killing our former clients,” his father informed them.

****

Illumi was standing against the wall behind his mother and two brothers, who were seated on the couch. His grandfather stood off to the side. 

****

“It would not be an issue, except that they are working their way forward to our current and regular clients.”

****

His father paused, allowing for any family member to contribute pertinent information.

****

No one spoke.

****

“If you encounter them, eliminate them. You're dismissed.”

****

Illumi exited and headed towards the forest. Hisoka was meeting him for a sparring match. These matches had become so regular in recent years, that Illumi factored them into his workout schedule. He should focus on his jumps today. 

****

Hisoka was waiting for him by the usual tree. 

****

He smirked before launching into a rapid feinting pattern. Illumi countered by jumping away. 

****

They sparred for a little over two hours. 

****

When they were done, both relatively bloody and exhausted, Illumi stood and half-turned towards the house. He paused just long enough to see if Hisoka wanted anything else from him. 

****

Since that one time three weeks ago, Hisoka had made no more sexual advances on him. Illumi had concluded that Hisoka disapproved of his previous encounters and found him unappealing now. 

****

Illumi didn't let it bother him. Others had fucked him once and never troubled themselves with him again. He could put Hisoka into that category.

****

Like the last eight encounters, Hisoka watched him until Illumi determined he wasn't needed anymore, and returned to the house. 

****

Illumi turned on the shower and stood under the hot water without moving. Hisoka just wanted to fight him. Just like he wanted to fight everybody else. Hisoka didn't want to fuck him.

****

The water was cold by the time Illumi remembered to move. 

****

He had two more days before he needed to leave for his mission. 

****

He fell asleep wondering if Hisoka would fuck him after tomorrow's sparring match. 

****

He left for his mark’s location forty eight hours later, his final encounter with Hisoka ending the same as the others had. This was a medium difficulty job, as the mark engaged a large number of body doubles. 

****

Illumi killed four people who looked like the man; the last one had the appropriate birthmark. 

****

Illumi pulled out his phone to inform the client of his success.

****

“Very good. Return to my residence. I will pay you in person.”

****

Illumi complied, and six hours later arrived at the mansion. He had worked with this client before, and knew he would be expected in the bedroom. 

****

The client was already there, leaning against the desk and holding a whip. He'd taken to using toys after the first time. Illumi avoided rolling his eyes, the whip was no threat to him. 

Illumi knew the next two hours would consist of nothing but commands he was expected to follow. 

****

“Strip.”

****

Illumi did so.

****

“Turn around. Bend over.”

****

Illumi did so again. He felt the client move behind him and felt the sharp push of something large against his entrance. 

****

He focussed on remembering how Hisoka had prepared him. That hadn't hurt. 

****

The client shoved the plug in without so much as teasing the ring of muscle first. Illumi gasped silently. It hurt. It tore at the old tears, splitting them open again and continued stretching until it made new ones. 

****

“Stand up.” 

****

Illumi did so, feeling pain radiate throughout his ass and back. There was a slight trickle of warm fluid down his thigh. He must be bleeding. He didn't change expressions though. The client hadn't instructed him to beg yet. 

****

“On your knees.”

****

Illumi sank to his knees and felt the first sting of the whip on his back. It was expected and helped shift his focus away from the toy inside him. 

****

The client whipped him for a good fifty lashes, aiming to cover his ass and the back of his thighs the most. He didn't break skin; Illumi was too strong for that, but there would be some welting. 

****

The bruises Hisoka had left on his ribs hurt just as much. 

****

The client walked around him and slapped his face. Illumi’s head turned with the slap, but he immediately returned to face forward, still stoic. 

****

“Open your mouth.”

****

Illumi did and the client pressed his length inside. He proceeded to fuck the back of Illumi’s throat, occasionally forcing himself all the way down until Illumi gagged. The natural response to prolonged gagging was a watering of the eyes. When the client released his head, Illumi’s face was streaked with involuntary tears. 

****

“That's what I like to see,” the client smiled down at him. 

****

Illumi just stared with big black eyes, waiting for his next instruction. 

****

“Get up and bend over the desk.”

****

Illumi moved to comply. Walking with the toy was hard. It pulled every time he took a step and he couldn't stop the spasm of his hole as it tried to force the object out. The plug was designed to prevent that, and Illumi knew it would hurt more when the client decided to pull it out. 

****

He bent over the desk and felt the client dig his nails into the lines of welts. Illumi had had worse. The client grabbed the end of the toy and tugged at it. Illumi closed his eyes. 

****

The client ripped the toy out, causing Illumi’s body to jerk just a little. He waited until Illumi’s hole stopped spasming, then shoved it back in. He repeated this procedure a few times, always pausing between moves so Illumi could feel the next one. 

****

Illumi had gotten used to it, and knew where to expect pain, so he could stay immobile. 

****

“Back up and put your hand on the floor. Keep your ass up.”

****

Illumi backed up a step and presented himself to the client. 

****

The client thrust in then, gripping Illumi’s hips. He had apparently been turned on enough by the foreplay to not last overly long. Illumi counted the thrusts.

****

Eighteen hard fucks and the client spilled hot semen into his ass. It burned when it came in contact with the cuts. 

****

The client spanked him and walked away. 

****

“Payment for the job is on the desk.”

****

Illumi stood and retrieved his clothes and the bearer bonds. He knew he was expected to walk out naked so he waited until he was in the hall to redress himself. 

****

He was sore and stinging. The toy had torn a good amount of muscle. And the cum was not medicinal. 

****

He might need to consider postponing his sparring match with Hisoka tomorrow. At least Hisoka didn't want to fuck him. 

 


	3. Meeting your needs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka finds Illumi broken and puts him back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graphic descriptions of medical treatment.

Illumi heard the opening of his window before he felt the magician’s presence. He tucked his pins back beneath the pillow as Hisoka stole into the room. Illumi had cleared Hisoka to visit the estate for training purposes, but he seemed to prefer not being seen as much as the rest of the household preferred not seeing him. 

****

“I told you I was unavailable for sparring today,” Illumi said. 

****

He was laying on the bed on his stomach, recovering from his last mission. Hisoka wasn't showing any signs of aggression so he didn't react when the magician sat on his bed beside him. 

****

“Sparring was not my desire,” Hisoka said. 

****

Illumi nodded and turned his head. Hisoka would tell him what he wanted sooner or later. He could be comfortable while he waited. 

****

Hisoka ran his hand over Illumi’s hair and the assassin stiffened. He wasn't ready for another fuck. 

****

Hisoka’s hand stilled for a moment but then resumed its motion. 

****

“Sex will not be necessary, either,” the magician said, understanding Illumi’s tension. 

****

Illumi relaxed then. Hisoka lied, but Illumi could usually tell when he did so. Hisoka played with Illumi’s hair for a long while, eventually gently scratching his scalp. 

****

Illumi tilted his head just slightly into the touch. It felt nice. But nice touches generally led to other activities, and he preferred not to encourage such thoughts if he could help it. 

****

“Can I spend the night with you?” Hisoka asked. 

****

It seemed Hisoka was already thinking those thoughts. 

****

Illumi considered the proposition, raising his head to look at the magician. It was unusual for people to ask instead of tell. Illumi thought on it; he decided he preferred the asking and concluded that he should acquiesce in order to reinforce said behavior for the future. 

****

He nodded. 

****

Illumi had dismissed the idea of Hisoka being sexually attracted to him, but perhaps the man had overcome his aversion. Illumi evaluated his condition and determined that, though not optimal, he could force himself to handle sex with the magician right now. Even if Hisoka did Hisoka-level damage, he had time before his next mission. 

****

Illumi raised himself to a sitting position, keeping most of his weight on his right leg. He moved to undress himself, but Hisoka caught his arms. 

****

“I already said sex was unnecessary,” the magician said. He sounded displeased and Illumi let his arms fall back to his side. 

****

He sat there and looked at the magician for instruction on what he wanted next. 

****

Hisoka was staring at his groin. Illumi reminded himself that Hisoka was a liar. 

****

Hisoka reached a hand out to Illumi’s left shoulder and pushed down. It forced Illumi to shift his weight fully onto his ass and he couldn't help the minute scrunch of his face as pain shot up his back. 

****

Hisoka immediately pushed on his upper arm, perpendicularly to his seated posture, and directed him to lie back on his side. Illumi was confused by the behavior so he let Hisoka maneuver him like a doll. 

****

“How badly are you hurt?” Hisoka asked. 

****

Illumi knew better than to show any weakness, especially to someone as dangerous as Hisoka. “I am not hurt.”

****

Hisoka scowled at him, recognizing another liar when he heard one. 

****

“Have you treated your injuries?”

****

“I am not hurt.”

****

Hisoka’s eyes narrowed and stood from the bed. 

****

“Do not move. I'll be right back.”

****

Illumi hadn't intended on moving, so he let the magician disappear back out the window. He rolled onto his stomach. He had been right; Hisoka was not sexually interested in him. He tried to think of what he had done wrong in the first encounter and in this one. 

****

The tear. And the flinch. Both signs of weakness. Hisoka liked strength; he wouldn't settle for anything less than the strongest. Illumi would have to do better at masking his vulnerabilities. 

****

The magician was back within the hour with a brown paper bag in hand. Illumi had decided that if Hisoka was spending the night, it would be a good time to demonstrate how strong he was. He had changed into sleep pants, with no shirt, and sat straight backed at the chair to his desk. He ignored the shooting pains running up his entrance to his kidneys. 

****

Hisoka froze at the window and narrowed his eyes. 

****

“Why are you sitting? That has to hurt.”

****

Illumi concluded that denying he was injured was pointless since Hisoka clearly knew. It would be better to admit that he was in pain and prove that he was stronger than it. 

****

“Because I can handle it.”

****

Hisoka sighed. “Come back and lay down.”

****

Illumi nodded. Hisoka was giving instructions now, so perhaps he had convinced the magician he was worth fucking. 

****

Illumi returned to the bed and lay on his side facing the magician. Hisoka joined him, sitting to the side near his middle. 

****

“Roll over.”

****

Illumi complied. 

****

Hisoka put a hand on his shoulder. 

****

“I’m going to pull down your pants. I brought ointment for the cuts I know you're hiding, but it will require me to touch you.”

****

Illumi’s looked at the magician with his normal mask. Inside he was in disbelief.

****

“You do not wish to fuck me.”

****

It was a statement, not a question. Illumi felt the odd pull of rejection; it wasn’t often he was dismissed so easily. Hisoka shook his head. 

****

“On the contrary, I want to fuck you very much. But I will not do so while you are injured internally.”

****

Illumi nodded then. It made sense; Hisoka liked his prey in peak form when he fought them. If Hisoka was going to treat his injuries, he'd heal faster. He turned to faced the bed. The medicine would sting quite a bit with as fresh as his cuts were, so he prepared himself for the pain. 

****

“Nor will I fuck you while you believe it is merely some job requirement,” Hisoka continued. 

****

Illumi didn't look up. He didn't know what to think of that. Being fucked was part of the job. Men who hired assassins like to prove they were strong, and what better way was there to do so, than by fucking the assassin they hired? Illumi was paid well for his work; granted, Hisoka paid in favors, not cash. It was part of his job to let Hisoka fuck him. 

****

Hisoka didn't expect a response, so he slid his hands down to Illumi’s pants and gently tugged at the thin fabric. He pulled them down to the middle of Illumi’s thighs, but then didn't continue. 

****

Illumi turned his head. 

****

“These are very fresh,” Hisoka commented, running his fingers lightly over the welts that striped Illumi’s pale skin. 

****

Illumi just nodded and went back to waiting. 

****

He felt Hisoka gently spread his ass cheeks. The magician held him open with one hand, and pressed a dab of ointment to his entrance with the other. Illumi was prepared for the sting, but not the cold so he twitched minutely. 

****

Hisoka slowly reached a gel-covered finger inside of him. 

****

“Illumi, I need you to tell me where it hurts. I'll have to coat those spots with more ointment, so you'll feel my finger rubbing against the cuts. Try to stay relaxed.”

****

Illumi nodded and let Hisoka move his finger around inside of him. He found each cut and, as promised, worked the medicine into the muscle there. He had to pull out and recoat his fingers thrice, and Illumi twitched at the fresh cold each time. His hole was stinging on all sides now, but it was the healing kind of sting. 

****

Hisoka finally finished and went to Illumi’s private bathroom to wash his hands. He came back, and gently pulled Illumi’s pants back over his hips. 

****

He lay down on his side, facing Illumi, whose face was still buried in the pillow. Illumi felt a hand stroke his back.

****

Hisoka slipped a finger under his buried chin and turned Illumi’s face to look at him. Illumi’s cheeks were damp, and Hisoka ran a his fingers over the trails. Illumi didn't move, knowing he could pass the tears off as a physiological response.

****

Hisoka leaned in to kiss the tip of Illumi’s nose and just stared back at the lifeless black eyes. 

****

Illumi was in too much pain to sleep, but so he just lay there, letting Hisoka rub his back and staring back into the gold eyes. 

 


	4. Breaking the habit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi continues work; but Hisoka interrupts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, very graphic non-consensual scene. Please be warned.

Hisoka returned for the next three days, to repeat his treatment of Illumi’s injuries. Illumi healed quickly even without such ministrations, so he was in near perfect health by the time Hisoka pushed through his window on the third day. 

****

He was stretching on the floor when Hisoka arrived. 

****

The magician smirked at him, knowing he was feeling better. 

****

“Do you wish to spar?”

****

Illumi looked at him from between his legs. “Yes.”

****

They made their way out to the forest and begun their match. Illumi noticed Hisoka was only striking above his stomach and below his knees. Even with the handicap, the magician was quite good. 

****

They eventually clashed, pinning each other’s arms away from their bodies and twisting their legs together, to simultaneously immobilize all their limbs. 

****

Hisoka was mostly on top of Illumi, unable to move from Illumi’s sharp grasp on his wrist and ankle, but also keeping Illumi’s opposite limbs down with his own grips. The position held them nose to nose. Neither would cede the match, so they just stayed there, occasionally testing the other’s hold. 

****

Illumi looked up to the golden eyes. Hisoka had admitted to wanting to fuck him and Illumi had just proven that he was a equal match for the magician. He leaned his head up to kiss HIsoka’s mouth and give him the go ahead to proceed. 

****

Hisoka kissed him back, never breaking eye contact. The redhead ended the kiss by pulling away slightly. Illumi tilted his head. He wondered if Hisoka wanted him to present himself the way the last client did. 

****

Hisoka stared down at him for a bit longer, then released his holds on the two limbs of Illumi’s he had pinned. Illumi released his grip on the others and Hisoka pulled him to his feet. He looked at the magician blankly, curious as to how Hisoka wanted to take him. 

****

Hisoka just tugged on his hand and pulled him back to his room, again entering from the window. Hisoka led them into the bathroom, and turned on the shower water. Illumi realized he appreciated it. They were both quite dirty from the workout. 

****

He half expected Hisoka to undress him, but was surprised when he heard the door close behind him. He stepped into the water and washed himself efficiently. 

****

He exited the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, sparing his clothes from any more damage. 

****

The room was empty.

****

Illumi moved to look out the window but Hisoka was long gone.

****

He laid down on the bed, wondering what he had done wrong this time. 

****

In the morning, his father summoned him to give him his next assignment. It was a rush job from the same client he’d worked for five days ago. The man with the doppelgangers apparently had a sister who was now seeking revenge. The client wanted her dead by tonight. 

****

Illumi gathered his gear and headed out to the job site. Followup jobs were always easy; as people got careless in the commotion after the first assassination. 

****

He texted his client to let him know he was finished. The client instructed him to return as per usual. 

****

Illumi walked into the bedroom for the second time that week. The client ordered him to strip. 

****

This time, the man bound Illumi, tying rough hemp rope around his chest and down his arms, bringing them together behind his back. Illumi could break them if he had wanted to, so he let the client continue. 

****

The man pushed him to the chair and forced Illumi to fold himself over the back, so he had to balance on his toes. The man reached beneath him, slipping a noose around his cock and balls and pulling it tight. It hurt, but Illumi was very good at handling pain. He continued pulling until Illumi realized he was supposed to gasp; the realization came just before the point where he would have actually had to gasp from the pain.

****

The client was satisfied though and moved to bind his ankles and knees to the legs of the chair; this meant that Illumi’s entire weight was balanced on the thin back of the seat, now digging into his stomach. 

****

The man walked around the front and brought a side table close. He yanked the back of Illumi’s hair, pulling his head up to look at what was laid out on the surface. It was an assortment of vibrators and plugs, in garish colors and scaling from large to too large. 

****

“This is what we started with last time,” the client said, pointing at a plug near the middle of the line up. “This is what we will start with today.” He pointed at another plug two sizes up. 

****

He waited for a reaction, so Illumi allowed his eyes to widen slightly. The man leered and shoved his head back down. “I want to hear how much you want it.”

****

Illumi nodded. Last session was unusually quiet. “Put it in me, please.”

****

The man grunted and walked back behind Illumi with the plug. He bit Illumi’s ass hard enough that Illumi knew he would feel it tomorrow. The tip of the toy found his entrance. 

****

“Put it in me, please,” Illumi repeated. He hoped Hisoka had left the medicine in the room. He was going to need it. He wondered if the magician would apply it again. 

****

The client shoved it in and Illumi’s gasp was audible this time. His entire core rejected the toy, as it tore at the ring of muscle and then again at his insides. New tears formed and Illumi felt his eyes water without permission. His abs clenched as he tried not to react more than he already had. 

****

“I knew you would like that,” the man commented behind him. “Don’t worry, this one has a bonus feature.” 

****

He pressed a button and the plug began to vibrate. Illumi felt like he was being shaken apart from the inside. He bit his lip as the motion jostled the new gashes and made newer ones as it pushed at his dry hole. Even if the client had lubricated him, it still would have hurt, but, without lubrication, it was agony. 

****

The client moved around to see his face, leaving the plug in and on.    
  


“Open your mouth.”

****

Illumi complied as always, but a small moan escaped when he released his lip. The client smiled and forced himself inside. It was the same as last time. The man waited until Illumi’s eyes streamed from lack of oxygen. He reached down to plug Illumi’s nose, encouraging the choking. 

****

Illumi was dying. He could break the ropes and free himself, but then his family would lose the client. His ass felt like it was being shredded and he couldn’t pull air into his lungs. He was one the verge of blacking out, from both pain and lack of breath, when the client released him.

****

Illumi coughed, but the jerking motion caused the plug to tear at him anew. He whimpered just a bit. 

****

The client smiled down at him. “I think you’re ready for the next one. He reached down to the table to pull up the dildo two sizes up from the one that was already inside him. The part that had Illumi worried though was that it was half again as long as the first one. 

****

The client returned behind him and ripped the vibrating plug out, without warning. Illumi bucked his back uncontrollably and felt the chair splinter a little under him. 

****

The client grabbed his hair and yanked up. “Break my furniture and we skip to the biggest one.”

****

Illumi could see it through his spotty vision. It was almost as thick as he was. He held still then, still feeling the racking sensations of pain. 

****

The client began pushing the long dildo inside then. It stretched and tore, but Illumi was already torn. The client kept pushing, past where any normal cock would fill him, and Illumi’s body trembled at the intrusion. He bit his lip again to stop the whine. 

****

The man let him hang there just shaking, with a vice around his genitals and a too large toy in his ass. Illumi wondered how long the client was going to make him hold this position. It hadn’t been comfortable at the start, and it was getting progressively worse.

****

Illumi started has he heard the distinct gargle of a throat being cut behind him. He relaxed when he felt Hisoka’s presence uncloak. He had a sudden realization. 

****

“You are the one who’s been killing our clients,” Illumi said. His voice was raspy and a bit unstable from the pain. He wasn’t in any condition to fight the magician for real right now, so his father’s orders would have to wait. 

****

Illumi realized that he should feel shame, bound and exposed, and surprisingly, he did feel it a little. 

****

Hisoka didn’t move into his line of sight. “Free yourself,” he ordered. 

****

Illumi did so; the client clearly couldn’t care anymore. He pulled his arms apart first, then released the ties on his legs so he could put his feet to the floor. He couldn't stand as the hard plastic was forcing his spine to bend and straightening might have caused it to break inside of him. He stayed doubled over, as he reached back to pull the plastic toy out of himself. 

****

His whole body shook, as the toy was ribbed and rubbed at his raw insides. Blood dripped to the carpet with every inch he slid out of himself. Hisoka didn’t move to help him, but eventually he got the thing out. He stayed bent over, while the torn muscle of his hole tried to clench, but failed. 

****

When the pain became manageable, Illumi forced himself to stand and reached a single claw down to undo the tie around his cock. Blood trickled down his thighs.

****

He turned to face Hisoka. He hoped the magician wouldn’t make him stand there too long, as his legs were numb from the position he’d been in and his ass hurt like hell. 

****

Hisoka looked at him, then shook his head. Illumi wondered if he’d lost interested in fucking him. 

****

Illumi tried to move to stand in front of the magician, but his legs shook uncontrollably, and he nearly fell to the floor. He caught himself though and straightened to face Hisoka again. 

****

The magician watched him and Illumi realized Hisoka was angry. This bothered the assassin, because, while his job dictated that he service his clients, Hisoka was not his active client; that man was dead on the floor, bleeding all over Illumi’s discarded clothing. Hisoka had no reason to be angry with him right now.

****

He tensed when the redhead moved over to his side, inured to Hisoka attacking when angered. Instead, Hisoka bent down, wrapping a hand around Illumi’s knee and pulling him up so that Illumi’s thighs were sitting on his forearm. 

****

Illumi wrapped his arms around Hisoka’s shoulders to stay balanced, and Hisoka carried him out of the mansion. 

 


	5. Tracing the source

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka intervenes in Illumi's work; Illumi doesn't agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less bad stuff, and more talking.

Hisoka held Illumi until they were back in his room. Hisoka had been strong enough to balance him over most of the jostling, but the car ride had exceptionally uncomfortable for Illumi. The seat was splattered with drops of blood that trickled down the inside of his cheeks.

****

Back in Illumi’s bed, Hisoka set him down on his hip then on his side, still completely naked. Illumi peered up at him, wondering if he would treat the gaping ruin of a hole his ass was right now. Part of him hoped Hisoka would hold off until morning, because the pain was lingering. 

****

Hisoka stared down at him for a long minute. Illumi didn’t move. 

****

“How many others?” Hisoka asked.

****

Illumi’s brows furrowed. “Which do you mean?”

****

Clients were confidential, as were all the details of his jobs; but Hisoka had killed a good number of them already. Besides, Illumi could answer without specifics; that was standard when negotiating new contracts. What Illumi wasn’t sure of was, if Hisoka was asking how many other clients he had or how many had taken sexual advantage of the contract or simply how many used toys.

****

“How many others have you let rape you?”

****

“I have never been raped,” Illumi said reflexively. He immediately regretted it as Hisoka sneered and moved towards the window. Illumi felt a slight panic, that was not at all normal for him. “Wait.”

****

Hisoka paused on the sill. Illumi counted quickly. 

****

“Thirty six.”

****

HIsoka’s hands clenched on the sill, leaving dents, but he came back to sit by Illumi’s bed. He ran his fingers through Illumi’s hair, and Illumi leaned into it, letting it distract him from sharp pains he was feeling crawl up his spine. 

****

“Tell me their names,” Hisoka ordered.

****

Illumi looked up. He didn’t want to say something that would make Hisoka leave, but clients were confidential. 

****

“You have killed most of them.” 

****

“Illumi, tell me their names. All thirty six.”

****

Illumi tilted his chin back to look up at the painted face. Hisoka stared down at him. Illumi felt another strange emotion; he was sad, sad because Hisoka would leave when he couldn’t tell him what he wanted. 

****

“I cannot. Our clients are confidential,” Hisoka’s hand stilled in his hair, so Illumi rushed forward, “I can tell you which you have killed. Counting tonight, twenty-two of them are dead.”

****

Hisoka laid down parallel to him, so their noses were close. Illumi stared at his yellow eyes and realized he didn’t want Hisoka to think of him like those eyes said he was thinking of him. Hisoka waited, so Illumi listed out the names of the clients that had fucked him and were now dead. 

****

Hisoka nodded when he recognized the name of the last one, and waited for Illumi to continue. The raven-haired assassin fell silent. 

****

“How much pain are you in right now?” Hisoka asked. 

****

Illumi considered lying, but knew Hisoka would catch him. The magician had seen the toy inside him. 

****

“Not enough to disable me entirely, but enough to limit me to sixty percent efficiency.” 

****

Hisoka raised his eyebrows. Illumi realized that the magician knew from their sparring matches how much pain Illumi could take, and Illumi felt the need to defend himself. 

****

“He did not start with the toy you watched me remove. He began with a vibrator. He also blocked my airways for a significant time at one point, increasing the damage done by the toy.”

****

Hisoka didn’t interrupt him, so Illumi allowed himself to keep talking. 

****

“The toys this evening were the largest. He enjoyed stretching me before fucking me himself. In previous encounters he would use lubricant, but some months ago he decided he preferred completely raw sex. Prior to that though, he preferred to take me by mouth while one of his toys was inside me. He started with beads, then progressed to dildos, and finally to the plugs. Occasionally he would incorporate the bindings and whips. It has only been after the last five encounters that I have found myself significantly physically weakened.”

****

Illumi stopped there; he should not have admitted that he was at a disadvantage right now. He looked back at the magician, expecting Hisoka to leave as he had threatened to before. But the magician ran his fingers back through his hair. 

****

“How long has this been going on?”

****

Illumi thought back. “With that client or any client?”

****

“Both.”

****

“The first job I did for tonight’s client was four years ago. After the second job, he began using me sexually. The first client to utilize the benefit did so when I was seven.”

****

“Is he one of the ones I have killed?”

****

“Yes.”

****

Hisoka nodded, and Illumi relaxed. The magician hadn’t stopped combing through his hair, so it was unlikely the conversation was motivating him to leave. He watched the redhead for any sign of reaction; but Hisoka had a great poker face. Finally the magician spoke again. 

****

“Does your family know of these ‘benefits’?” Hisoka watched him closely.

****

Illumi thought about it. “I assume so, though we have never discussed it. Back during my training, father emphasized how important it was to meet every request exactly. He never specified what types of requests might be made, so I concluded it was all of them.”

****

Hisoka put his hand against Illumi’s cheek, and the assassin started. He hadn’t expected that.

****

“Illumi, do you enjoy your work?”

****

That was also unexpected. But he answered honestly, “Yes. I enjoy being an assassin.”

****

Hisoka gave him a withering look. “Assassins kill people. They do not let themselves be bent over chairs and fucked with toys too big for their holes to the point of incapacitation. Do you enjoy being abused like that?”

****

Illumi’s eyes flicked away from Hisoka’s face. “No, but it is part of the job.”

****

“No, Illumi. It’s rape.”

****

Illumi stared at Hisoka blankly. He disagreed. It wasn’t rape, it was just a side function of being a killer for hire and the clientele that line of work attracted. Hisoka sighed and sat up. 

****

“May I stay the night?” Hisoka asked, before Illumi could panic. 

****

He nodded. 

****

“Your ass will need more medication. Will it hurt too much if I apply it tonight?”

****

Illumi considered it. The nerves were already on fire, so it was unlikely they could be much more stimulated from ointment. The thick gel might also help the abrasions from rubbing so much. 

****

“I will be fine.”

****

“The toy you pulled out was long. How deep are the cuts?”

****

“I do not know. Deeper than before.”

****

Hisoka rubbed his back softly. 

****

“Illumi, there are two ways to do this. I can coat a long thin object with medication push that around, or I can push my hand inside. Either way it will hurt.”

****

Illumi thought about it. “I did not like the last object that was pushed inside me.”

****

Hisoka nodded. “I'm going to touch you now.”

****

Illumi nodded and turned his head back into the pillow. Hisoka hadn't lied; it hurt a lot. Almost as much as the toy that had caused the damage. He was shaking before Hisoka's fingers even brushed his hole. Hisoka talked him through every move he made, and nothing was unexpected. Illumi kept his face buried in the pillow. 

****

Finally, Hisoka finished and covered Illumi with a soft blanket. His hand was sticky red. Illumi was quivering against the mattress. Hisoka returned from the bathroom, and lay down next to him. 

****

He pulled the assassin to him and ran his fingers through his hair, creating a sensory distraction from the burn. Illumi forced himself to focus on Hisoka’s movements and breathing. Eventually his shivering exhausted him enough that he drifted off to sleep. 

****

When he woke, Hisoka was gone. 

 


	6. Claiming the reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi expects Hisoka to act differently; Hisoka ignores it.

Hisoka did not show up for their sparring matches for the next two weeks. Nor did he return to reapply ointment to Illumi. Illumi did that himself, reaching as far in as he could and hoping the medication would spread deeper. 

****

Walking was still painful so he remained in his bed for most of the days. 

****

On day nine, he developed a fever. 

****

The butler staff had taken to bringing Illumi’s meals into his sitting room, but never entered the bedroom. On day eleven, the staff noticed Illumi wasn't touching the food, not that he'd eaten much of the previous weeks meals. 

****

Illumi locked his bedroom door, not wanting to be disturbed. 

****

The hallucinations began on day thirteen. His ass had healed somewhat, but still had large sores from where the toyed had rubbed the deep lining too much and left abrasions to become septic. 

****

He began seeing his family members coming to talk to him, to tell him he needed to be stronger. He saw Hisoka laughing and leaving, saying he wasn't worth killing. He saw the clients, all of them, coming back to repeat whatever they did to him that made Hisoka disapprove of him. 

****

Illumi’s immune system would have fought off the infection if it hadn’t had to content with his dehydration and malnutrition. 

****

On day fifteen, he hallucinated Hisoka again. This time the clown fought him, pinned him down easily. He struggled and attacked with everything, but it was no match for the dream Hisoka. The fake Hisoka laughed and attacked him with his own pins. He lost consciousness. 

****

He woke to feeling his left arm punctured by two different IVs hanging from a rack near his bed. He reached down to pull them out but long pale fingers stopped him.

****

He looked over and saw the real Hisoka on the other side of the bed, putting away his cards. 

****

“Are you awake this time?” the magician asked. 

****

“Were there times when I was not awake?” 

****

Hisoka frowned. “The tears were deeper than I realized and became infected. You have been hallucinating for three days.”

****

Illumi nodded. It had been impossible that all those clients had been working together. It made sense that those events weren’t real. 

****

“What are these?” Illumi asked, indicating the tubes feeding into his veins. 

****

“One is fluids and nutrients, the other antibiotics.”

****

Illumi nodded and moved to sit. Hisoka grabbed his shoulder and held it down. 

****

“Let me up. If I have been indisposed as long as you say, then I must prepare for my next job.”

****

“You mean the one with the gem smuggler? I took care of it.”

****

Illumi looked at him, startled. 

****

Hisoka shrugged. “I borrowed your phone.”

****

“Did you kill my client?” 

****

“No, should I have?” the magician had returned to shuffling his cards. Illumi would have preferred it if he combed through his hair instead.

****

Illumi shook his head. “You have been killing all the others.”

****

“Just the ones who lay hands on you. This one wired the payment without question so I left her alone.”

****

Illumi nodded, and tried to roll to his side. He felt a sharp twinge inside and rolled back. 

****

“You needed stitches,” Hisoka explained. “I called in a favor.”

****

“Where were you?” 

****

Illumi was pleased the magician was here now, but it reminded him that the man had left him alone to sicken. He shook himself. He should be strong enough not to need to rely on Hisoka. He would have to discipline himself more, later.

****

“You told me I had missed fourteen; I went to remedy that oversight.”

****

“My family has orders to eliminate whoever is killing clients.”

****

“I know. Your father and I had a discussion on the topic.” 

****

Illumi raised his eyebrows. Hisoka shrugged again. If his father had let Hisoka go, then there was no need to concern himself with killing the man. 

****

“Will you stay?” Illumi asked. 

****

Hisoka looked down at him and smirked. He stayed. Eventually he began running his fingers back through Illumi’s hair. 

****

Illumi took two more days to recover enough to spar. When they did, it ended with Illumi kissing Hisoka again. Hisoka kissed back, but also broke it. 

****

He walked Illumi back to his room. This time Illumi grasped his hand as the magician prepared to leave the bathroom. Hisoka raised his eyebrows. 

****

“I am well enough to fuck, if that is your desire.”

****

Hisoka reached a hand up to his cheek and stroked it. 

****

“No, you're not.”

****

Illumi allowed him to leave the bathroom then, but spent his shower wondering again, what it was he'd done wrong. The stitches and antibiotics had coupled with his natural healing capabilities, and he was physically fit enough to handle sparring. Why did Hisoka not want to fuck him then?

****

Hisoka was waiting on his bed when he returned, with a brush. Illumi settled onto the bed and let Hisoka pull the brush through the wet strands. 

****

“Why do you not wish to fuck me?” he asked. 

****

Hisoka swept his straight hair over one shoulder. And turned his neck to face him. 

****

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Hisoka asked. 

****

Illumi’s eyes widened. He thought about if he wanted Hisoka to do that to him. He did want to prove that he was strong enough. And he wanted Hisoka to recognize that. If that meant Hisoka fucking him, then that was that. There was also a correct response to this question that every client wanted. 

****

“Yes.”

****

“You're lying.”

****

Illumi tilted his head confused. He wasn't lying. Hisoka sighed. 

****

He combed his hands back through Illumi’s hair, but didn't stop at the ends. He slid one hand farther down his back, into the waistband of Illumi’s pants and between his cheeks. 

****

Illumi couldn't help it. He flinched. Then immediately froze every muscle.  

****

“That's why I won't fuck you. You don't want me to. Your body doesn't lie”

****

Hisoka slid his hands back up to Illumi’s hair and returned to combing it. 

****

Illumi considered the interaction. His body had acted without his conscious command. He could remedy that with training. The next time Hisoka touched him intimately he would be able to control his reactions.

****

Their sparring matches continued, almost always ending in a tie. And the pattern of showering and grooming repeated. After four days of repetition, Illumi decided it was time to try again. 

****

“I am ready for you to fuck me.”

****

“Liar.”

****

Illumi waited for Hisoka to prove it. Instead of running his hands down his back, Hisoka grabbed his jaw and squeezed to force open his mouth. Illumi hadn’t been prepared for that approach, and squeezed his eyes closed in trepidation. 

****

“You’re not ready. And you don’t have to convince me to want to have sex with you,” Hisoka explained, still holding his jaw. He released him after a short minute, and Illumi tilted his head, upset. 

****

He thought on the problem for a little while, enjoying Hisoka braiding and unbraiding his hair. He didn’t think he could hone every reaction to a degree that someone as observant as Hisoka wouldn’t notice, especially if Hisoka started using his actual strength to test him. 

****

“What if I am never ready?”

****

Hisoka slid his hands to Illumi’s shoulders. “Then you’re never ready.” 

****

“Will that change anything?”

****

Hisoka spun him around. “Not wanting to have sex does not affect your ability to fight. So long as you continue to fight well, you will have my attention.”

****

Illumi thought about what he knew about the magician. That seemed characteristic. He nodded, and pulled the magician to lay next to him. 

****

Hisoka kissed his nose and stroked his cheek. Illumi fell asleep quickly. When he woke, Hisoka was there, playing with his hair. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think. If you absolutely hate it, that's fine. If you like the idea of Hisoka saving Illumi, in a murder-clown kind of way, hopefully this is a fic for you.


End file.
